There are different kinds of abuse, but it's always about having power and control over another. It is important that everyone is able to recognise the signs of domestic abuse.
- Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:
- Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence)
- Psychological and/or emotional abuse
- Physical violence or threats of violence
- Sexual abuse or rape
- Financial or economic abuse
- Harassment and stalking
- Online or Digital Abuse
- This can include forced marriage, so-called “honour-based” violence and ritual abuse.
Below are a list of examples of different signs of domestic abuse. If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you may have an abusive partner or family member.
Emotional Abuse
Does the person ever:
Belittle you, or put you down? | Make unreasonable demands for your attention? |
Accuse you of flirting or having affairs? | Blame you for the abuse or arguments? |
Isolate you from family and friends? | Stop you from going to university or work? |
Deny that abuse is happening, or play it down? | Tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go and what to think? |
Psychological Abuse
The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways. Does this person ever:
Destroy things that belong to you? | Stand over you, invade your personal space? |
Read your emails, texts, or letters? | Threaten to hurt or kill you, themselves or the children? |
Yell or swear at you? | Ignore or isolate you? |
Call you names? | Exclude you from meaningful events or activities? |
Physical Abuse
Does the person ever:
Slap, hit or punch you? | Choke you or hold you down? |
Push or shove you? | Burn you? |
Bite or kick you? | Throw things? |
Financial Abuse
Does the person ever:
Control how money is spent? | Force you to be involved in fraudulent activity? |
Forbid you from working? | Give you "an allowance"? |
Deny you direct access to bank account, loans or grants? | Spend money on themselves but not allow you to do the same? |
Give you presents or pay for things and expect something in return? | Run up large debts on joint accounts without your permission or take actions that leads to you having bad credit? |
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone. Does the person ever:
Make unwanted sexual demands? | Pressure you to have unsafe sex (e.g. not using a condom) |
Hurt you during sex? | Pressure you have sex (including with other people)? |
Touch you in a way you don't want to be touched? |
Remember: There is never an excuse for domestic abuse. Anger, jealousy, alcohol or wanting to protect the other person – none of these are excuses. Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone by anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help.
If you are worried that you or a friend may be experiencing domestic abuse, you might find it helpful to read IDAS' information on red flags and warning signs.